"Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore, And that's what parents were created for."

"The Preacher, the Politicain, the Teacher, Were each of them once a kiddie. A child, indeed, is a wonderful creature. Do I want one? God Forbiddie!"

"Progress might have been all right once, but it has gone on too long."

"Children aren't happy without something to ignore, And that's what parents were created for."

"A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of."

"I drink because she nags, he said I nag because he drinks. But if the truth be known to you, He's a lush and she's a shrew."

"The creation of a line of forts opposite to the French frontier will enable the German troops to be economized on that line and will enable the main forces to swing round through Belgium and Holland."

"Our feelings are our most genuine paths to knowledge."

"I believe that religion can make a well-rounded person, or it can make an idiot. What we've go going on here is an idiot."

"You can't legislate against rumor."

"There are three intolerable things in life - cold coffee, lukewarm champagne, and overexcited women."

"I have always loved truth so passionately that I have often resorted to lying as a way of introducing it into the minds which were ignorant of its charms."